The KSBoE is Brilliant
By now you've probably read on myriad news web sites and periodicals about the now-concluded battle over Intelligent Design (ID) in the state of Kansas. The debate has centered on teaching students critical thinking about the veracity of the theory of evolution by adding an interpretation of the Biblical teachings of creationism, which proponents of ID believe account for the scientific inconsistencies that evolution cannot scientifically explain.
The Kansas State Board of Education (KSBoE) voted 6-4 yesterday to approve the additional criticism of evolution via the ID theory. I say hooray. It's about time.
We have too many people from the coasts moving here anyway. Stay the hell away from us. I hear Montana's nice.
The KSBoE's decision is just one in a series of upcoming masterstrokes by the state. If you've seen the most recent edition of Business 2.0 magazine you'd know that the Kansas City metro area was selected as one of the group part of a $25 billion (or trillion, I lost count of the hyperbole while reading) USD land grab around the country. Business 2.0 believes that there are fantastic opportunities for cheap real estate in a number of mid-size metro areas over the next 25 years, or something like that. Then, the Los Angeles Times has the audacity to write an article about the outflow of Los Angeleans to areas other than Los Angeles, since they can't afford to buy a home there. Guess where the focus of the article was? That's right. Kansas City. Or rather, Lee's Summit, a very nice Missouri suburb of Kansas City. And the Times was nice enough to mention what a fantastic deal this former California couple got and the value they received for their money. Oh, and a nice picture, too. The couple and their two children looked positively idyllic in front of their 3,000 square foot home with the boat and trailer.
While this may be a boon for some of you considering a move to the midwest, your moving here is going to kill us, the hard-working midwesterners who've been keeping the prices down for years because no one, and I mean no one, wants to move here. We've got tornadoes. We've got wind all the time. We've got weather that changes from one day to the next. We've got winter, for crying out loud. And that includes snow. And ice. Scared yet? Damn.
Hold on, I've got it: We've got the Royals.
When you bring your $600,000 profit from your shanty sale in Silicon Valley, you kill the property values of those of us who already live here. We must stop this. The state knows that. We've got enough dumb people living here who don't know how to save and spend wisely. Or understand what the word "theory" means.
That's where the state got smart. That's when we got Intelligent Design.
Next thing you know, there's this huge debate about evolution and how it can't be the scientific principle to be taught to our children. Separation of church and state be damned. We're pushing this new "theory" into the schools as a challenge to something that right-wing Christians believe is antithetical to their faith. As many before have noted, this is our new world. If you challenge the evangelical belief, you are immediately wrong. And should be punished.
Or get ID.
Game theory says that the state must have carefully taken into account the global, national, and in-state humiliation ID would cause. The state is punishing residents, but has obviously done so because it's the best thing to keep those damn Coasters from bringing their money and their ideas to the state. We certainly have no interest in thinking progressively here.
Geez, Kansas is still fighting over whether to sell alcohol on Sundays. But I know that it won't be long before state Attorney General Phill Kline finds a way to get this topic into the global and national media as well when he proposes a constitutional amendment to ban alcohol period in the state. Maybe then we'll be able to keep everyone from moving or visiting as well as making residents feel as though they're living The Cannonball Run every weekend (weekday?) while driving to Missouri (or Nebraska or or Colorado or Oklahoma) to buy that gosh darned liquor.
Wouldn't that be great?
Who do I need to call about that idea? My property taxes just went up again.
The Kansas State Board of Education (KSBoE) voted 6-4 yesterday to approve the additional criticism of evolution via the ID theory. I say hooray. It's about time.
We have too many people from the coasts moving here anyway. Stay the hell away from us. I hear Montana's nice.
The KSBoE's decision is just one in a series of upcoming masterstrokes by the state. If you've seen the most recent edition of Business 2.0 magazine you'd know that the Kansas City metro area was selected as one of the group part of a $25 billion (or trillion, I lost count of the hyperbole while reading) USD land grab around the country. Business 2.0 believes that there are fantastic opportunities for cheap real estate in a number of mid-size metro areas over the next 25 years, or something like that. Then, the Los Angeles Times has the audacity to write an article about the outflow of Los Angeleans to areas other than Los Angeles, since they can't afford to buy a home there. Guess where the focus of the article was? That's right. Kansas City. Or rather, Lee's Summit, a very nice Missouri suburb of Kansas City. And the Times was nice enough to mention what a fantastic deal this former California couple got and the value they received for their money. Oh, and a nice picture, too. The couple and their two children looked positively idyllic in front of their 3,000 square foot home with the boat and trailer.
While this may be a boon for some of you considering a move to the midwest, your moving here is going to kill us, the hard-working midwesterners who've been keeping the prices down for years because no one, and I mean no one, wants to move here. We've got tornadoes. We've got wind all the time. We've got weather that changes from one day to the next. We've got winter, for crying out loud. And that includes snow. And ice. Scared yet? Damn.
Hold on, I've got it: We've got the Royals.
When you bring your $600,000 profit from your shanty sale in Silicon Valley, you kill the property values of those of us who already live here. We must stop this. The state knows that. We've got enough dumb people living here who don't know how to save and spend wisely. Or understand what the word "theory" means.
That's where the state got smart. That's when we got Intelligent Design.
Next thing you know, there's this huge debate about evolution and how it can't be the scientific principle to be taught to our children. Separation of church and state be damned. We're pushing this new "theory" into the schools as a challenge to something that right-wing Christians believe is antithetical to their faith. As many before have noted, this is our new world. If you challenge the evangelical belief, you are immediately wrong. And should be punished.
Or get ID.
Game theory says that the state must have carefully taken into account the global, national, and in-state humiliation ID would cause. The state is punishing residents, but has obviously done so because it's the best thing to keep those damn Coasters from bringing their money and their ideas to the state. We certainly have no interest in thinking progressively here.
Geez, Kansas is still fighting over whether to sell alcohol on Sundays. But I know that it won't be long before state Attorney General Phill Kline finds a way to get this topic into the global and national media as well when he proposes a constitutional amendment to ban alcohol period in the state. Maybe then we'll be able to keep everyone from moving or visiting as well as making residents feel as though they're living The Cannonball Run every weekend (weekday?) while driving to Missouri (or Nebraska or or Colorado or Oklahoma) to buy that gosh darned liquor.
Wouldn't that be great?
Who do I need to call about that idea? My property taxes just went up again.
posted by Toronto McKee at 7:19 AM
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